Floss every day because flossing once a day increases your life expectancy by 6 years! Floss every day because if you don’t floss, you miss cleaning 35% of your tooth surfaces! Floss every day because flossing is essential in preventing bad breath, tartar build-up, and the formation of cavities! We’ve all heard the advice, the warnings, and the cautionary tales, and the *responsible adult* in all of us does our best to heed them and comply.
But…the *kid* in us has a different take on the matter: just because you’re obligated to complete a task every day, doesn’t mean the task can’t also be FUN! If your flossing routine has been feeling a bit monotonous lately, here are 11 bizarre dental floss flavors to switch things up and help you get back “in the groove!” (At least the *kid* in us thinks this pun is very funny.)
1. Cupcake Frosting Flavored Dental Floss
Usually, to call something “vanilla” is to imply that it is blah or boring. Not so in the case of vanilla cupcake flavored dental floss! Quite the opposite, in fact. This bright pink packaging and its baked good-scented contents are quite a departure from the spearmint and peppermint floss we’re accustomed to.
2. Justin Bieber Dental Floss
Pick up a package of this floss and you can truthfully boast that you have Justin Bieber stored in your bathroom! Or that Justin Bieber helped you dislodge a popcorn kernel from your molar! One burning question remains, however: what is the flavor of these 55 yards of wacky waxed floss? Since the packaging is unclear, we can only speculate…hair gel? Teenage angst? Bubblegum pop?
3. Bacon Flavored Dental Floss
There is bacon flavored bubblegum, bacon flavored soda, and even bacon cologne, so the fact that there is now bacon flavored dental floss on the market isn’t terribly shocking, oddly enough. This might actually be a great option to keep in your pocket or purse on-the-go, to use after your lunch break – bacon floss presumably pairs better with burgers and fries than mint does.
4. Absinthe Flavored Dental Floss
It is rumored that Absinthe, at least “the real stuff,” causes consumers to experience hallucinations. Might there be a similar risk when using Absinthe flavored floss?? We won’t be rushing out to purchase this product anytime soon, just in case. Hallucination possibilities aside, this could prove to be a pretty tasty flavor if you’re a fan of black licorice!
5. Assorted Breakfast Menu Items Flavored Dental Floss
Breakfast floss, you had us at coffee. ♡ (That is, if this java flavored creation actually contains caffeine!) On one hand, this floss trio has the power to satisfy your waffle cravings without any of the calories. On the other hand, if it’s gross, it has the power to “ruin” waffles/bacon/coffee for you forever…and that’s a risk we just can’t see ourselves taking. How about you?
6. Pumpkin Spice Flavored Dental Floss
As soon as pumpkin spice flavored lattes and pumpkin spice scented candles start hitting the shelves, it’s a sure-fire sign that fall is near! People have such strong connections to this flavor and the fact that it signals a cozy change of seasons, that if this strange floss were to be commercially produced, we imagine it would be quite popular. Be sure to leave us a comment below if you feel that Patterson should consider this idea further…
7. Pickle Flavored Dental Floss
Hmmm…it took us this long to finally come around to the idea of dill pickle flavored potato chips and sunflower seeds, so we’re not mentally prepared to accept dill pickle flavored dental floss just yet…even IF it promises “briny fresh breath!” (Well, especially since it promises briny fresh breath.) If we knew we had visible food stuck in our teeth, and we only had this floss on hand, then it’s safe to say we’d truly be in a pickle.
8. Salad Flavored Dental Floss
The ultimate irony: Salad is notorious for leaving various bits of veggies or seasonings caught in your cuspids, and now you can use salad flavored floss to rid your teeth of such remaining romaine residue! For those who wake up in the morning craving a big bowl full of leafy greens instead of cereal, your dreams have been answered.
9. Ranch Dressing Flavored Dental Floss
Speaking of salads, let’s not forget ranch dressing in this bizarre lineup of flavored flosses. Perhaps salad floss and ranch floss could even be used in conjunction, for the ultimate veggie-fueled oral hygiene experience. Ranch floss is tastiest after eating crudités, chicken wings, or pizza. (If you don’t dip your pizza in ranch dressing, you’re missing out!)
10. Banana Flavored, Monkey Dental Floss
If you have any initial reservations about banana flavored dental floss, don’t worry: this product is recommended by 4 out of 5 monkey dentists! (We can only assume the fifth monkey dentist simply couldn’t make it to the survey.) We think this fruity floss flavor actually sounds pretty a-peel-ing initially, until you imagine how it would taste right after using minty toothpaste.
11. Cat Food Flavored Dental Floss
Have you often wanted to sneak a piece of your cat’s food, just to see what it tastes like? Exactly. Neither have we. Even if you’re a cat lover, we can all admit that cat food doesn’t smell great, so we certainly don’t want to ruminate on the taste, much less wake up and wiggle it between each of our teeth. Cat food flavored floss, we give you an overwhelming “me-ow thank you.”
“Standard” Dental Floss Flavors
1. Listerine Cool Mint Dental Floss – Shop
2. Patterson Waxed Mint Dental Floss – Shop
3. Oral-B Pro Health Floss – Shop
4. Listerine Healthy White Mint Floss – Shop
5. Johnson & Johnson WILD Flossers – Shop
All Dental Floss – Shop
If you need a palette cleanser (literally!) after all of those kooky flavors, browse Patterson’s complete selection of dental floss options using the shop links above. It’s probably wisest to use mint or unflavored varieties day-to-day, and pepper in the more exotic selections either sparingly or, you know, only on April Fool’s Day. If you do end up trying out a bizarre dental floss and hating it, thus finding yourself with loads of extra yardage on hand, take a look at our earlier post on “10 Uses for Floss that Don’t Involve Your Teeth!“
Are you up for trying dill pickle floss, or are you a mint for life guy/gal? Should we really consider carrying pumpkin spice floss?? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!